THE JOBS I REMEMBER: BRIAN J. SCHAEFER (THROUGH 47 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AND CHANGE) CLICK for CLASSIFIED MATERIAL - NO RECRUITERS OR LAW ENFORCEMENT SO IT'S BEEN six months since leaving the Associated Press and for the first time in a while -- despite my ultimate goal of being an independent professional a year… Continue reading CONFIDENTIAL: “The Jobs I Remember” (Or: My Real Resume)
A friend of mine in the desert used to be very superstitious regarding his less-than-legal "distribution business" at the time, so every year he'd have a friend of his from sur de la frontera bring up a companion. A curandero. From the countryside. To determine the current state of the house, its overall health and… Continue reading El curandero (Or: The Day I Believed in Magic)
Minus the dashes. I read two answers that rhymed with"Google co-founder" and who-the-hell-cares. Sorry, kids. My distrust of you and your lack of anything interesting going on upstairs has become a full-blown phobia. So I wrote this. Because it works. And it's never a situation you expect to be in. But one day you just might… Continue reading Quora (or: Why I Need to Pull the Plug on “Life Hacks,” relationship advice to those without girlfriends, and explaining why Raskilnikov was a Hero)
"And so be it, We are not there, but here."
OK. It’s 1998. I had just moved to LA. My brother is living in a room no bigger than a jail cell for two. In the span of a month I had lost all faith in everything I was doing but the hell if I was going to leave and not watch it all crash like… Continue reading The Time I Saw A Ghost
Because I can change it, no problem. Godaddy is just teeming with crackerjack web development and slideshow programming. Just a snip there. A tuck there. Some superglue here. And hey, hey...Let's announce something... ON JANUARY 1st, 2017, THE WORLD WILL NOT KNOW WHAT HAS HIT THEM AND WHEN I SAY "HIT THEM" I MEAN "HIT… Continue reading Do I Look Like I’m (still) in Jail?
-- Brian John Schaefer (circa 1985) Twin Peaks 1.4 I suppose it was the moment I read that the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire had a journalism department worth scooping home about. That sounds about right. I needed some internal rationalization of why I chose this particular branch of the venerable state-strong UW system. Eau… Continue reading Eau Claire, Wisconsin
"And the Vikings are like the old girlfriend who calls you once a year, gets your head spinning no matter whose bed your hat is on, and will leave you speechless in an instant later...after you've followed her every move, and gleefully watched her set you up a'la Peppermint Patty, smiling sinister the entire time. "