The Passenger Side

From the vault (July 8, 2000) I don’t like riding on the passenger side ...in fact it was only yesterday when i yelled, BUYING A NEW PAIR OF SHOES CURES EVERYTHING THAT AILS YA... AND STOLY'S WORKS IN A PINCH AS WELL.. though because electricity *is* my bio-functional sombrero, you'll find my lady Macbeth there,… Continue reading The Passenger Side

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Something about Happy Birthday (“Unprofessional?”) + LinkedIn Tunes Out

"Can't You See (I'm Falling Apart)?"  (2016), Oil pastels on paper  Brian John Schaefer Let's put on our sad faces for this turn of events. A friend dropped this on me regarding the attached post. And then it was stricken from the LinkedIn news feed -- just like that. I think I may be marked for… Continue reading Something about Happy Birthday (“Unprofessional?”) + LinkedIn Tunes Out

CONFIDENTIAL: “The Jobs I Remember” (Or: My Real Resume)

  THE JOBS I REMEMBER: BRIAN J. SCHAEFER (THROUGH 47 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AND CHANGE) CLICK for CLASSIFIED MATERIAL - NO RECRUITERS OR LAW ENFORCEMENT SO IT'S BEEN six months since leaving the Associated Press and for the first time in a while -- despite my ultimate goal of being an independent professional a year… Continue reading CONFIDENTIAL: “The Jobs I Remember” (Or: My Real Resume)

Quora (or: Why I Need to Pull the Plug on “Life Hacks,” relationship advice to those without girlfriends, and explaining why Raskilnikov was a Hero)

Minus the dashes. I read two answers that rhymed with"Google co-founder" and who-the-hell-cares. Sorry, kids.  My distrust of you and your lack of anything interesting going on upstairs has become a full-blown phobia.  So I wrote this. Because it works. And it's never a situation you expect to be in. But one day you just might… Continue reading Quora (or: Why I Need to Pull the Plug on “Life Hacks,” relationship advice to those without girlfriends, and explaining why Raskilnikov was a Hero)

Writing and Why You Shouldn’t Bother

Because you don't just choose to become a writer. It's not an open job fair on your college quad. It certainly isn't the Top-10 list-making genre used by respected and no-longer-respected media outlets alike. And it sure as hell isn't because Auntie Yum Yum thought you wrote the prettiest, most emotionally scarred adolescent vampiric prose she had… Continue reading Writing and Why You Shouldn’t Bother