Things That Are Tightening My Jaw

  Crosswalks — When did ROADS, BY-WAYS and THOROUGHFARES become a non-people-moving morass of Whole Foods shoppers, post-gym lallygagging sweat bodies, and that invisible pedestrian every one  slows down for because — there’s a crosswalk. Someone has to be walking, correct? For the entire road to shut down like a dying smart phone, its battery life […]

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The Passenger Side

From the vault (July 8, 2000) I don’t like riding on the passenger side …in fact it was only yesterday when i yelled, BUYING A NEW PAIR OF SHOES CURES EVERYTHING THAT AILS YA… AND STOLY’S WORKS IN A PINCH AS WELL.. though because electricity *is* my bio-functional sombrero, you’ll find my lady Macbeth there, […]

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My Podcast

  REFURBISHING MY MIND The Walking Catastrophe…isn’t really a podcast — though I’m not even sure what constitutes a podcast and frankly, I don’t cast any aspersions when sheep die in my sleep either — but it’s more of an extra-crispy swan dive when things behind the wheel grow much bigger than things usually do […]

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Quora (or: Why I Need to Pull the Plug on “Life Hacks,” relationship advice to those without girlfriends, and explaining why Raskilnikov was a Hero)

Minus the dashes. I read two answers that rhymed with”Google co-founder” and who-the-hell-cares. Sorry, kids.  My distrust of you and your lack of anything interesting going on upstairs has become a full-blown phobia.  So I wrote this. Because it works. And it’s never a situation you expect to be in. But one day you just might […]

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The Time I Saw A Ghost

OK. It’s 1998. I had just moved to LA. My brother is living in a room no bigger than a jail cell for two. In the span of a month I had lost all faith in everything I was doing but the hell if I was going to leave and not watch it all crash like […]

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